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Joke of the Day
"Stretching before working out is for wussies could someone please call 911?"
Next Joke
"I changed my Ipod's name to Titanic Its Syncing"
"Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like ""this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."""
"When I go outside in the winter... I like to put my codon"
"Hell yes we can still be friends if you don't drink, I'm not that shallow. You have a driver's license, right??"
"What do snowmen eat for lunch ? Icebergers !"
"Ever wonder how the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow?"
"Love is grand Divorce is a HUNDRED grand..."
"MARRIAGE TIP: When your wife forgets to set the timer and incinerates dinner, DO NOT whistle ""If I Only Had a Brain"" from the Wizard of Oz."
"[pulls up after first date] Me: well, this is my place Her: a bouncy house? Me: you expected a bouncy castle? IM SORRY ""YOUR MAJESTY."""