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Joke of the Day

"It would have been cool to see the discovery of salt. ""This food tastes bland. Let's see if I can improve it by adding some rocks."""

"I was going to tell a story about a Black Hole.... But it sucks."

"I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones"

"Wife leaves: Ok. Wifi leaves: NOOOOOOOOOO. I can change!"

"For Halloween this year, I went as Julian Assange And stayed home."

"What do you call a fake noodle? ImPasta"

"What did the cannibal get when he showed up late to the party? A cold shoulder"

"How do you find a vegan at your dinner party? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception."

"Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country."