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Joke of the Day

"Cracked a joke about the Titanic. Went down well."

"When I know I've posted a great tweet, I walk away from my phone in slow motion like I'm Jason Statham walking from an explosion."

"A man walks into a bar... ""A man walks into a bar and the bartender says""... ...""Stop speaking in third person Jaqen"""

"[finds sock with hole in it] *gets angry* [puts sock back in same drawer] *repeats forever*"

"I'd tell a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction..."

"What do broccoli and sex have in common? NSFW If you were forced to have it as a child you're gonna hate it as an adult."

"I've been so stressed recently I've been doing that Chinese thing with the needles. You know...heroin."

"Why did the rap battle champion get the most spacious and accessible seat on the bus? Because of his dis-ability."

"Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving."

"Goats have it all figured out. All disputes should be settled with an aggressive series of headbutts."