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Joke of the Day

"Viagra now comes in a liquid form, people in nightclubs have been putting drops of it in their eyes..... Apparently it makes them look hard."

"That was THE best 10 hours of sleep I've ever had. Thanks for asking me to sleep with you! Huh. You look upset."

"A blessing It is a blessing to hear ""Jesus loves you."" In an American prison, but in a Mexican prison... Oh boy."

"The difference between running and jogging is that runners compete in races and joggers find dead bodies on Law and Order"

"I don't see why we're worried about running out of resources. I mean, how many people can there be in the world? Like a million?"

"Once, just once in my life, I'd love a guy to grab me, pull me in close and whisper I'm hunting wabbits."

"A man in Arizona buys a [Tempescope Cube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ddMyIsxZ-g). He returned it a week later because all it did was blow sand and tumbleweeds around."

"TERRIBLE INVENTION PITCH: decaf Red Bull"

"I got banned from B&Q in Glasgow today Some cunt came up to me in an orange apron and asked me if I wanted decking. Luckily I got the first punch in."

"a guy walks into a bar... ...says ""ouch"""