100716

Joke of the Day

"'Mum' yelled Johnny from the kitchen 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would break ?' 'Yes dear what about it ?' 'Well your worries are over.'"

Next Joke
 
"I apologize for pinching your lips closed when you started telling me about your kids"
"I met a bisexual swing the other day It swung both ways."
"When someone shows you they don't want to be a part of your life, let them go. I'm not saying you can't make a voodoo doll of them, though."
"*whistles at dog* DOG: I have a boyfriend"
"How can you make a soup rich? Add 14 carrots (carats) to it."
"Stats show the average person has sex 89 times per year Looks like I'm in store for a wild December"
"There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka."
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... ... It's impossible to put down"
"Arrested Development is cool, but when is Netflix gonna bring back my Grampa?"