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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the accountant that audited the greengrocer? Sure was a turnip for the books"
Next Joke
"what did the transvestite say to the pirate? Q. what did the transvestite say to the pirate? A. ""I'M going to plunder your butt hole!"""
"What do you call someone who sings about mints? A ""Minstrel""."
"ANYTHING can be considered your job if you hate it enough."
"friend: Are you eating a whole frozen pizza by yourself? me: It was on sale for $4 friend: I wasnt asking because I thought it was expensive"
"hey can I use your bathroom? cashier: only paying customers jesus...ok just give me 9 double whoppers with cheese, a chocolate shake, 2-"
"I'm glad my office has this giant shredder because otherwise I don't know what I'd do with all this work."
"Thinking of leaving a fake bloody arm inside the blood pressure machine at this CVS pharmacy."
"President George W. Bush was once informed that 4 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. He responded, ""How many is a brazilian?"""
"My VW Beetle can't deliver when I want a ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"" honk. It's all, ""Hi! Let's get a latte after you move just a smidge!"""