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Joke of the Day

"For some reason all of my friends are calling me racist I just can't seem to get through to them that racism is a crime, and crime is for black people"

"I was talking to a Hiroshima survivor about his near death experience... He told me he saw the light"

"I tried to kill a spider with glitter spray... Now it won't stop stripping and I have to call it cinnamon."

"If it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck, it's a murderer, disguised as a duck."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? Sametime next month? I heard this jome a while back. Sorry if its a repost"

"A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop."

"Did you hear about the alien megastructures located near the Milkyway? *Handwave* nanobots"

"Karate classes... Because breaking boards on your head is all cool and shit if a House ever starts attacking you."

"What is the most useful thing in the French Army? A rearview mirror, so that they can see the war!"

"Girlfriends are like phone apps They come with in-app purchases, and need the reassurance of updates to function well."