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Joke of the Day

"If it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck, it's a murderer, disguised as a duck."

"Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar."

"What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't cry when you cut up a hooker."

"Facebook is like prison because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you."

"Sometimes a person is completely out of the picture but you just can't let go of the frame."

"#presidentfacts Barack Obama is the first president in nearly 80 years to choose a water type as his starting Pokemon"

"This guy in the elevator asked for my number so I wrote it on his arm. Apparently he meant which floor, so that was awkward."

"What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist? You can actually negotiate with a terrorist."

"Do not judge a book by its cover, unless there's a Swastika on the cover"

"I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon.... I want to see which one comes first."