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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the alien megastructures located near the Milkyway? *Handwave* nanobots"

"Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell ""I'm just cooking!"""

"After all this Starbucks cup controversy, if Taco Bell was smart, they'd start serving their burritos in little cardboard mangers"

"If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. At night the Asians will come and fix it for you."

"Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed."

"How do metal guitarists handle their expensive instruments? Very Djently."

"So the bus driver said to the string ""Are you a string?"" and the string said ""No I'm afraid not"". (A frayed knot)."

"Teacher: What is the unit of energy? Students: Yes!"

"You let your eyes unfocus. The entire page coalesces into a cheery, bespectacled face. Waldo is the entire crowd scene. We are all Waldo."

"What's it called when you're killing time at work hiding in the bathroom? Stalling."