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Joke of the Day

"Her: Ok you hang up. Him: No, you hang up first. Her: No, you first. Him: No, you first. NSA: Both of you hang up."

"I took a class on procrastination There was always homework due next week (. .) "

"Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any good it only has sentimental value. Mugger: That's all right. I'm sentimental."

"If you ever see me with one of those stick figure family bumper stickers it means I'm dead and someone is wearing my skin"

"What's the definition of apathy? I don't know, and I don't care."

"I was going to make a joke about thailand... But Phuket."

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."

"Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately."

"I haven't said a word to my wife in years. She hates to be interrupted..."

"What's a camel? A horse made by committee."