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Joke of the Day

"*talking to mailman* So are you like, made of mail? *mailman laughs* ""sure, kid"" So that must mean.. *fireman & garbageman walk by* Holy shi"

"What do you call a prostitute working for Disney? High Ho, High Ho"

"What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East? Oman"

"Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way"

"The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would've been like."

"Her: Ok, on 3 lets,say what movie our marriage is most like. 1.. 2.. 3 *simultaneously* Her: THE NOTEBOOK Me: SHAWSHANK REDEMPTIONOTEBOOK"

"What do you call a banana with a penis dildonic"

"Her lips said no, but her eyes said... read my lips"

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"A man comes into a bar... Wait, it was a horse. A man comes into a horse."