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Joke of the Day

"Her: Ok, on 3 lets,say what movie our marriage is most like. 1.. 2.. 3 *simultaneously* Her: THE NOTEBOOK Me: SHAWSHANK REDEMPTIONOTEBOOK"

"ME: u know what they say, drink with one eye open WIFE: they don't say that, you're drunk ME: *closes other eye* it is very dark in here"

"Where do you put a Jew who can't pay attention? Concentration Camp."

"Saw this one in my maths class Student: Sir I'm cold! Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then. Student: Why would I do that? Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there."

"What does a gay guy say when he can't remember? I faggot"

"If life gives you melons... You have dyslexia"

"my mom took me to ""bring your kids to work day"" when I was younger- the day went all right, but I just dont think the other strippers liked me."

"pope: love all *everyone cheers* *he serves a tennis ball right into the crowd* pope: fifteen-love"

"I'm not sure Donald Trump is qualified to sit in an exit row on a plane"

"The guy who wrote the book ""everybody poops""... ...should write Number 2"