100519

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Asian prostitute? Chinese-y"

"Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at but not very bright."

"Kylo Ren: I can't read your mind! How are you resisting me?! Rey: Occlumency lessons from Professor Snape."

"Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager."

"FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans."

"Wow! This whole being up early is neat; it's like daytime but sooner! Huh! The birds... they sound, you know, pretty! It's all a bit scary."

"Nothing says, ""I have a lot of free time,"" more than someone eating a pomegranate."

"My girlfriend was really excited about sex but said we couldn't because she was on her period... .. I turned back and declared ""The only thing a period stops is a sentence."""

"What do you call a good looking girl in Wisconsin? A Tourist!"

"i woke up my girlfriend with oral sex... ....she almost choked and is now mad :("