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Joke of the Day

"Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows... But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway."

"*puts crime-scene photos in a rocket* Ok stand back ""Detective, what are u doing?"" What does it look like, I'm launching this investigation"

"What did one Jewish bird say to the other? ""Cheep"""

"What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common? You break them at the middle and load them from behind"

"Parenting teenagers is easy since they already know everything."

"I told my Mom that I was going to the Apple store and she said, ""You sound like you're 4 - it's the grocery store""."

"What did the scientist who was conducting sexual experiments on dogs say to his partner? ""If you need me, I'll be in the lab."""

"I hit 2k followers. Now that I've gathered you all here, I'd like to discuss the benefits of Amway"

"We gave our children old-fashioned names... Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley"

"Stages of inebriation: Sociable, fun, hilarious, inappropriate, bitter, sad, need new pants, need new friends."