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Joke of the Day

"My penis is only a fraction of an inch... Thirty three thirds."

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"A woman got complimented for her driving..."
"Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother."
"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba-dum tss"
"I saw a person with a backpack and a messenger bag. Talk about some serious baggage."
"Condoms prevent minivans."
"What did the Hispanic chef say when he went down on his girlfriend? ""Umami!"""
"When my wife sends me to the grocery store solo with a specific list I am not allowed to improvise. That was made clear when I got home."
"What do they do with rope in space? Tie Astro-knots."
"You're going to look great at your prom. If you're thin and spent 3 grand on a dress. Otherwise you'll look like a dumpy Russian hooker."