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Joke of the Day

"We gave our children old-fashioned names... Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley"

"Sometimes my girlfriend is so annoying. ""Do you think I'm pretty? Do you think I'm pretty?"" Why doesn't she just answer me?"

"I fucked a vacuum cleaner once... It sucked"

"Damn girl are you an Indian reservation? Cause I want to lay some pipe in you."

"if i was a character in a horror movie i would try to finish whatever i'm eating before i die"

"I told a joke about noble gasses the other day. There was no reaction."

"Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk!"

"I had a job interview today, the interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. Luckily, I have 2020 vision."

"Someone accused me of spending too much time on the Internet. I don't know what to say. I am so full of emoticons right now."

"I'm madly in love with a girl who's a solipsist... ...but she doesn't even know I exist. :("