100331

Joke of the Day

"Didja hear about the LGBT DJ in Paris who'll only play 50's US rock songs? Yeah - he calls himself ... wait for it ... Cousine Brucie"

"[Wildebeest orbiting the earth in a spacesuit, uselessly kicking its legs madly every time a really grassy part comes into view]"

"The iron vein ran out... It was only a minor issue though."

"A heads up.. So when searching for a place to eat at work and a coworker tells you about The Black Angus Campfire Feast and the boss is standing behind you. Check the spelling before hitting enter."

"I hate how Apple took away the headphone socket all willy-nilly It's like it means jack shit to them"

"Jubilee is a mutant who can shoot sparks from her hands, and spontaneously destroy electronics by touching them... So she's basically like my mom, if my mom could shoot sparks from her hands."

"90% of women that wear yoga pants probably don't do yoga. 100% of straight men don't care."

"How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna ride bikes?"

"Contrary to common belief, only 5.7 million Jews were killed during the Holocuast, for you see... the Nazis were known for rounding them up."

"Went out to dinner last night & the hostess asked me ""Where would you like to sit?"" I replied ""preferably on a seat."" #accomplished"