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Joke of the Day
"What's the average lifespan of an owl? About six and a half books."
Next Joke
"-currently looking for an adult -Realizing I'm an adult -Now looking for an older adult -Someone successful at adulting -An adultier adult"
"Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets."
"I was going to organize a space-themed birthday party for my son... ...but I couldn't planet."
"How does a Muslim close a door? Islams It."
"There are some people walking around alive today, simply because I don't want to go to jail tomorrow."
"""I love the Fall, the trees are so pretty"" It's fall?? ""Ya, so what?"" [leaves start attacking everyone] OMG THE LEAVES HAVE TURNED"
"When my wife forgets to fill up the fishtank I lower the ceiling a few inches every day until she remembers."
"I thought Instagram was a cocaine delivery service."
"What sexual position guarantees the ugliest baby? Go ask your mother"