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Joke of the Day
"I thought Instagram was a cocaine delivery service."
Next Joke
"Mike said he's breaking up w/ u cause you're not very smart & u have issues Me: OMG I DO NOT HAVE HIS SHOES WE DONT EVEN WEAR THE SAME SIZE"
"Why is SAE not that racist? Because some of their best friends are black... for halloween!"
"I heard they wanted to do an Asian version of Drive but there's already a movie called Crash."
"How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?? .. She fits into your wife's clothes"
"Twitter. Or as I call it: Sinterest."
"What is a pirate's favorite material? Arrr-gyle."
"If you love something, let it go. Unless that thing is a cat. Your cat will not come back."
"I've started writing crossword puzzles for a national newspaper. The money is not great but It's allowed me to buy a little two up two down house."
"A woman walks up to me and says ""give me 12 inches and make it hurt"".... So i banged her 4 times and hit her w/ a brick"