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Joke of the Day

"Why did Uhuru get mad? Because William Shatner."

"Why hasn't anyone invented alcohol that acts as birth control too?"

"What did 50cent say to his grandma when she gave him a knitted sweater for his birthday? G u knit!"

"Kayne West says he's gonna be the next Nelson Mandela. Your wife is a porn star and your daughter is a compass. Take a seat, son. Merica."

"A girl goes to the doctor, he takes out his stethoscope and says ""okay, big breaths."" To which the girl says ""yeah, and I'm only thixteen."""

"TIFU by taking someone else's Subway order Oops, wrong sub."

"Did you hear the one about the pilot who backed into the propeller? Wrecked'em. Damn near killed him."

"Einstein came up with a theory about space... and it was about time too!"

"What do you call a 200 year old Buffalo? A bison-tennial."

"""Toothpaste? You made that word up!"" - Steve Bushemi"