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Joke of the Day
"Einstein came up with a theory about space... and it was about time too!"
Next Joke
"[notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?"
"So a guy calls into work and says, ""I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots."" ""Have you seen a doctor?"" ""No, just the spots."""
"I'm always just a bit disappointed when a liars pants don't actually catch on fire."
"What do you call Root Beer in a Square Glass? Beer."
"If Women Ruled the World"
"Mom filled up the refrigerator ... we could say that it had a pretty productive day."
"How much is Donald Trump's life insurance? Just one pence."
"Who do you call when theres a fly in your house? The SWAT team"
"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take things literally."