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Joke of the Day

"I had a fight once. ""You should see the other guy!"" I said. My wife agreed. She's been seeing him for years now, they're a lovely couple."

"I always thought my english grades were good But then in 6th grade, i learned the alphabet"

"The real magic of Christmas is how quickly money vanishes from my wallet."

"Wow, the guy buried alive with weed in his pocket must be rolling in his grave right now."

"I don't have shit to say and"

"So I tried to enter ""penis"" as my new e-mail password... But my computer said it was too short."

"I was talking to this guy at the gym about push-ups. ""How many reps would you usually do?"" he asked. ""A million,"" I rep lied."

"Daylight savings On Sunday we jumped back an hour, today we jumped back 50 years."

"Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!"

"A bit too dark possibly. The war in Vietnam started in 1955 and in 2015 The Charlie was finally massacred."