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Joke of the Day

"How many police officers... How many police officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he fell!"

"James Bond is the type of top secret spy who announces who he is, then shoots everyone and sets off a bomb while doing absolutely no spying."

"I got arrested for breaking into the Chinese restaurant. Don't worry, my attorney said that I'll probably wok."

"[guy from the 50s arrives in a time machine] ""Who's president?"" Barack Obama ""Braco? Sounds Mexican"" Nope ""Whew"" You might want to sit down"

"Aren't horses just Eunuchorns?"

"Why did Hitler's SS soldiers love animals? They were all veteran aryans"

"How do you piss off an emo? Give them a dull razor."

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and everyone knew, you were still out shopping, yes, it sucks to be you."

"Funeral Emily died last week after she fell in the lake. It's a shame she never learned how to swim. We brought a life preserver to her funeral. It's what she would have wanted."

"I'm going to start a charity for the clinically insane. Gonna call it ""Fundamental"""