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Joke of the Day

"Funeral Emily died last week after she fell in the lake. It's a shame she never learned how to swim. We brought a life preserver to her funeral. It's what she would have wanted."

Next Joke
 
"Psychedelic Playthings... So I should probably stop covering my child's toys in LSD and leaving them out... ... I've heard they can be a trip hazard."
"It seems like every kid wants to be Spider-man or Batman now-a-days. They must have terrible parents if they all want to be orphans."
"""Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."" Me, to my empty bag of Oreos."
"Liam Neeson: What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Me if I were the kidnapper: *is."
"So i went to my first fight club gathering I arrived a little late, so i did not catch the first part, but i had a great time. I recommend it to everybody."
"I don't eat cats and dogs. Dogs are cute and I'm allergic to cats. *my lawyer leans in and whispers in my ear* Cats are also cute."
"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wipe"
"the chinese food place by my work is dangerously close to being added to my 'never again' list after finding a human tooth in my food"
"What did the city say to its father before it left for Mexico? Ciudad"