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Joke of the Day

"Isn't it so wierd when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway my dad just caught me browsing r/jokes"

"Tonite on House Hunters: Jill wants 4 bedrooms, granite countertops and a home spa. Bob wants to be stabbed in the driveway."

"Massacre between rival musicians at the Symphony Orchestra today, . Authorities have condemned this act of Violins"

"I used to have a dog named Ass. RIP Ass"

"If ifs & buts were candy & nuts, the first part of this sentence would read ""Candy candies & nuts were candy & nuts."" ...Confusing, right?"

"What do you call a bulimic tree? Sycamore!"

"Why did the DJ have such small hands? Wee paws for station identification."

"Does a Priest have a wife? He has nun."

"This popped into my head in class the other day... Why do professors like stats and physics students? Because they'll work for p naughts."

"We all have our weaknesses. Yours are just more obvious."