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Joke of the Day
"Why did the DJ have such small hands? Wee paws for station identification."
Next Joke
"What do you call a koala that drives? A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*"
"How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it!"
"I'm not Fred Flintstone... But I can make your bedrock."
"I got this gem from a 6-year-old ...seriously, I need to get rid of it fast, the law really frowns on stealing from children."
"I never ask anyone, ""what kind of dog is that?"" because they'll tell you. God will they tell you."
"mad props to my friends from high school who are successfully balancing raising a baby and constantly posting someecards on facebook"
"Muslim: I do not eat bacon. Jew: I do not eat bacon. Me: I will have their bacon."
"What is the difference between a Greek spearman and a pale beer? One is hoplite, and the other a light hops."
"Been going to the gym now for 6 weeks and have noticed some huge improvements. For one, they've fixed the water cooler."