153434

Joke of the Day

"If ifs & buts were candy & nuts, the first part of this sentence would read ""Candy candies & nuts were candy & nuts."" ...Confusing, right?"

"How does a Narcissist change a lightbulb? He holds it up to the socket and the world revolves around him."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change anything."

"Why do fish always sing off key? Because you can't tune a fish. Say it outloud if you don't get it. I made this one up in first grade IIRC."

"An awkward morning beats a boring night."

"Cinderella walks into a bar... ""I'd like a glass of shoes, please"""

"Yo mama so fat... She auditioned for Gargantua in the movie Interstellar but got rejected for being too fat"

"I'll have you know I did four years in Nam. Turns out pedophilia is illegal there too."

"How do you grow a cow? Plant its nuts."

"*sees a hot christian girl* Me: I am christian now,where do i get one of those plus signs? Friend: That's a cross. Me: across from where?"