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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? My son won't eat broccoli."
Next Joke
"What do you call a pirate's girlfriend? Pirate bae"
"What do you call it when an oyster takes a picture of itself? A shell-fie"
"Winter coats look like people gained 10 pounds, a perfect indicator for how they will look without the coat when the holiday season is over"
"I would rather have Bill Cosby as President than Donald Trump.. because if America is gonna get fucked for 4 years I wanna be asleep when it happens."
"What did Magic Johnson give his teammates after winning an NBA title? A HI-V (high five)"
"The average family income has gone up 2% while the cost of living has increased 23%. - Me explaining to my son why he can't have a sister."
"If I'm guilty of anything, it's loving TOO much. And several felonies in 3 different states. But mostly loving too much."
"What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band? KGBGs"
"I think my iPhone is broken I keep pressing the home button but I am still at work"