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Joke of the Day

"Confidence? Oh yeah I've heard of that. It comes in a bottle and you have to be 21 to buy it."

"I got arrested for feeding homeless people on the streets the other day... And to top it off, the cops took away my potato gun."

"I like my women like my wine, 12 years old and Locked in a cellar Edit: u wot m8 I fixed grammar"

"I'm not a racist.... I'm not a racist, Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people. Also Whats black and doesn't work? Half of london"

"I met this guy who said he was a Mir space station Engineer. But I thought it was quite an achievement."

"So an interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years How should I know, I don't have 20/20 vision!"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? She worked it out with a pencil."

"If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive... They'd find me attractive."

"I'm now on year 3 of the '7 day ab challenge'"

"What animal is best at hitting a baseball? A bat!"