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Joke of the Day

"A dentist recently had to pull some teeth The pain was bad enough, but when they told me I would have to drink directly from the glass for a whole day, that was the last straw."

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""" What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies? snowballs"
"*Indian Accent* I would make a your mom joke... but cows are sacred in my country."
"A blonde said, ""I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."" "
"""What'd you do this weekend?"" I was shooting craps. ""Oh you went to a casino?"" *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah."
"Girls can be so ungrateful sometimes... I made breakfast in bed for her and instead of saying ""Thank you"", she was all shouty like ""How the hell did you get in my house...?"""
"Whats the useless skin around the vagina called? The woman... Im sorry"
"Women need to learn that ""most of my friends are guys"" just means you have a list of dudes who are trying to bone you."
"How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?"
"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with IBS? Well, one you have to shuck between fits..."