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Joke of the Day

"Girls can be so ungrateful sometimes... I made breakfast in bed for her and instead of saying ""Thank you"", she was all shouty like ""How the hell did you get in my house...?"""

"What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common? They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five."

"A girl told me to come over... A girl told me, ""Come over, nobody's home."" I went over, nobody was home. (Rodney Dangerfield)"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate the pizza before it was cool."

"Why was the math teacher late for school? He took the rhombus"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming."

"My dad is teaching me to be a hipster He told me to eat my food before its cool."

"OC why do doctors check their patients reflexes? Because they get a kick out of it"

"Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook."

"Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship"