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Joke of the Day

"A blonde said, ""I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."" "

"What joke did drake get when talking to diddy? The punchline"

"My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head."

"What's the difference between my girlfriend and a cow? Cows are real."

"Oscars night, Leonardo DiCaprio walks to the stage... Steve Harvey follows suit..."

"I'm not flirting with you. I'm just nice. Get over yourself. Except you. You get under me."

"As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field. It's in my jeans."

"Breaking: Brad and Angelina have broken up. Thousands of kids homeless."

"The last time I danced at a party, someone told me I looked like a wildebeest on a frozen lake."

"The wife wants me to be a doctor in our sex role playing. So I guess I'll make her wait an hour, then send her to a specialist"