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Joke of the Day
"Oops, It slipped, wrong hole! But since I'm already here..... -Men"
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"Here's a good joke... SWAG"
"What is black and white and red and brown and silver and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a harpoon through her head."
""" How was your blind date ? "" "" Terrible ! He showed up in a 1935 Rolls Royce. "" "" What's so terrible about that ? "" "" He was the original owner ! """
"Watches my wife cut the 2 yr. olds apple juice with water ... *Hauntingly second guesses every drink she's ever mixed for me now"
"A man sitting in a barber's chair noticed that the barber's hands were very dirty. When he commented on this the barber explained ""Yes sir no one's been in for a shampoo yet."""
"A guy goes to the doctor... He says, ""Doc, every time I drink coffee I feel a sharp pain in my right eye."" The doctor asks, ""Did you take out the spoon?"""
"[first day as tour guide in New York] Me: that's the Statue of Liberty Guy: what is she clutching Me [awkward long pause]: all the liberty"
"In American politics, what's important is that you pick one of two equally bad sides and defend it no matter the awful garbage it produces"
"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."