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Joke of the Day

"How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb? It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way."

"When you walk into a store buying sexual necessities... New Ariana Grande CD: 18 Tub of Vaseline: 3 XL Box of Tissues: 2 The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a minute to get hard, I was just laid by this chick."

"Modern fast food has a ""fuck you"" attitude that I relate to on a deeply personal level."

"Why does the Leaning Tower of Pisa lean? It is italicized."

"How do you climb a triangle? By scalene it"

"Why isn't there a Superpig? It's too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth."

"I keep trying to lose this last 180 pounds but he refuses to leave."

"A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."

"MAGICIAN: Think of a horse ME: Ok MAGICIAN: You thinking of one? ME: Yep MAGICIAN: Cool right? ME: Very cool"