99736

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."

"I told my wife she should call me a champion bullrider... Because I consistently last 8 seconds riding a horned animal."

"On his first day, my gay friend lost his job at the sperm bank. He was caught drinking on the job."

"Santa should promote clean energy this year. Instead of a lump of coal he should give a can of biofuel to the bad kids."

"The wike asks his husband: Honey, what do you prefer? A beautiful woman or an intelligent woman? Neither one, you know I just like you"

"I can't cook. My strategy for operating the oven is basically the same as my strategy for sex I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best."

"me: ""what is a librarian's favourite food?"" dog: me: ""SHUSHI lmao"" dog: [starts putting his toys in suitcase]"

"I recently surveyed 100 women about their favorite shampoo preferences... The number one answer was, ""What the hell are you doing in my bathroom!?"""

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."""

"Why Does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? For drizzle, my nizzle. :D"