99709

Joke of the Day

"Mark Wahlberg's mom: Marky Mark! It's time for a snacky snacky before you take a nappy nap. Mark Wahlberg: Jesus, mom. I'm 44. What snack?"

"The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar... It was tense."

"the 80 year old lady paying w/ exact change and coupons behind me in line is pissed bc the credit card chip reader is taking too long"

"Honestly sometimes I STILL think about how dope it is that I don't have any homework."

"Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's live in a homeless man's beard."

"Today everyone will update about who they chose for president, then tomorrow it will be back to what they chose for lunch."

"My drug dealer is hilarious... he cracks me up"

"Responsible pet owners pick up their dog's poop. Cool pet owners pick their dogs up from the airport (after their doggy business trips)."

"I had a cocaine joke, but now I can't find it It makes me really mad because I had it all lined up"

"Let's sing a Unitarian's favorite hymn. ""We gather together to gather together . . ."""