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Joke of the Day

"I had a cocaine joke, but now I can't find it It makes me really mad because I had it all lined up"

"Just ate the last slice of pizza and I wish there was more. Suddenly all of Taylor Swifts songs make sense to me."

"Back on the Canadian side of the border now. Thank God. That is the longest period of time I've ever gone without riding a moose."

"[1st date] Her: we should keep religion out of this *religion gets up & leaves the table* Me: see what u did? *I get up and chase after it*"

"They found a hole in the wall at the local prison The police are looking into it"

"""Dad that's ridiculous, Hitler didn't invent Pokemon"" [Checks Google] ""Well I'll be damned"""

"Girl, is your name Trouble? ...cause your dad tells me I'm in trouble."

"What's the name of West Virginia's version of Winnie the Pooh? Gummy Bear"

"I've got my fingers in many pies Which is why I lost my job as a waiter."

"The phrase, ""Don't take this the wrong way"" has a zero percent success rate"