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Joke of the Day

"I had a cocaine joke, but now I can't find it It makes me really mad because I had it all lined up"

"Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth? To prevent tooth DK."

"The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph. Which, unfortunately, makes it illegal to ejaculate in a school zone when children are present."

"What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man? Space"

"I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one."

"BOSS: Ok so far so good. But before we finish the interview I'm gonna have you take a typing test. LOBSTER: *looking down at claws* Shit"

"What do dissecting a frog and explaining a joke on Reddit have in common? Both are shitty novelties."

"I'm going to throw an awesome surprise party for my daughter when she gets home and realizes I know that she snuck out! SURPRISE!"

"You only live once, so don't forget to spend 16 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers."

"Fellas; There's no heterosexual way of taking a selfie."