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Joke of the Day
"What's the best kind of cream... ...to get rid of spots and bug bites? Creamation."
Next Joke
"I would've thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited 'til it was dark instead."
"And the cat's in the cradle so the baby must be at the pet groomer's, this is a terrible mix-up."
"A shop assistant dared to ask me why I needed twenty pots of Tippex this morning. Big mistake."
"squirrel probs"
"My friends holds her breath driving past cemeteries cause of superstition but I thought she just didn't want to be cocky about breathing"
"What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her? Nah Imma stay"
"Is your food spicy Sir ? No smoke always comes out of my ears !"
"Date: ""I don't like Taco Bell."" *Pushes her in front of a bus.*"
"My lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex for my birthday I'ts nice, but i think they misunderstood me when i said: i wanna watch"