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Joke of the Day

"I only do cocaine with the flexible straws. So I can reach my dashboard while i'm driving."

"When I was a kid I had an Arab friend Mabe Al-zuq Yadeeq"

"Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was."

"what do you call a lady with one leg Ilene sorry if I killed you because of how old this is"

"How do you catch a peculiar rabbit? Unique up on it."

"Would Bill Cosby make a shitty bartender?"

"I like to stop at the UPS store late at night and leave little notes on their door letting them know I stopped by but they weren't open."

"Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought ""a"" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine"

"I believe what politicians say about as much as I believe the person who says, ""I never got that text."""

"What did the koala bear say to the barber? You ca-lip this?"