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Joke of the Day

"Why did you bring your cat to school? Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school? Student: My dad said he was going to eat mom's pussy."

"I'm pretty sure the chick at this drive thru had me repeat, 'I'll take a number two', multiple times so she could laugh at me."

"The way I feel when a waiter brings my food is probably similar to the excitement of a dude on Maury who just got told he's not the father."

"""Hey, we're best friends! This is the most fun ever! Lets take some pictures!"" - drunk people"

"Took my guitar to an open mic night at a bar. Yea, it sucked cuz they made me play one less chord. Guess one of 'em was a minor."

"Might I integrate your curves tonight?"

"Do fish get thirsty?"

"What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos? Pork, eh?"

"Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was fed up with the hole business."

"Try to think of a world without hypotheticals. You can't."