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Joke of the Day

"Do fish get thirsty?"

"A package comes in the mail at the post office & it's business as usual... But when I cum in the mail at the post office it's public indecency & a felony.."

"Did you guys hear that you can survive just on plants? That is something i never herbivore!"

"[restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!"

"Psi walks into a bar And says to the owner ""Such a nice unit you have here, totally on a different scale"""

"Did you hear about the new drug that makes its users apathetic? It's called Crystal Meh"

"Dance like you aren't depressed. Sing like you didn't kill that homeless guy. Love like you don't have herpes."

"What would you name a star wars movie featuring Pluto? This is really just a bad pun, but to me those are the best kind of jokes Pluto strikes from the back and destroys Uranus."

"What is the opposite of a protein? An amateur teen ( )"

"""Oh love what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"" she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. ""I don't know but I promise I'll never do it again."""