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Joke of the Day

"Turns out if you fake a heart attack every Monday work sends you to HR and not the hospital."

"I hate it when I have lots of visitors but only enough chloroform for one and have to use it on myself."

"What's small and got 7 dents in it? Snow White's cherry"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face. #watersportsgate #goldenshower"

"If life gives you melons... get a good sports bra."

"What's Fonzie's favorite indefinite article? Ehhhhhh!"

"Some women are never satisfied. Last night i gave my girlfriend the biggest orgasm of her life. What did she do, spit it out."

"My best friend just ask me to be her maid of honor. What did I ever do to her???"

"When a cashier thanks you for your purchase, unsettle them by looking deep in their eyes and softly saying, ""Anything for a friend."""

"My sister told me she is going to become fucking rich... I didn't know she wanted to be a porn actress"