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Joke of the Day
"My best friend just ask me to be her maid of honor. What did I ever do to her???"
Next Joke
"What did the Moderate Moslem say before hitting a guy for criticizing his religion? It's alright, reddit'll say this had nothing to do Islam."
"Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter. (Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)"
"Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money."
"What noise does a ceiling fan make? GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!"
"Never Fall in love with a Heroin addict because even though they have a lot of love to give. It's all in Vein"
"What do women and modern computers have in common? Neither one will accept a 3 and a half inch floppy"
"Imagine William Shakespeare in a swimming pool, perplexed and terrified as children just splash the shit out of him"
"What do you call an Italian who has sex with kids? PASTA"
"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."