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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists do you need to screw in a lightbulb? None. Lightbulbs promote rape culture."

"Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'."

"I thought my friend was being serious when he was talking about rimjobs Turns out it was all tongue in cheek."

"Women my age expect a man to have his shit together by now. Time to start dating younger women."

"Excuse me miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup there."

"Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure"

"What's the worst part about being gay? You cant think straight."

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey."

"Whats the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest? A bomb vest does something when triggered."

"Did you hear what happened when the Pope went to mount Olive? Popeye beat the shit out of him."