40351

Joke of the Day

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey."

"Beach people are fickle. One minute you're the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they're terrified of the Lord of Seagulls."

"I only have one cardinal rule... Never feed them past 9, because if you do they'll be up and chirping all night"

"Tigers blood gave Charlie Sheen HIV"

"Me: NO! Him: What? I haven't even said anything Me: Oh, you looked like you were about to"

"Who won the Asian cooking contest? It was a Thai!"

"What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in...."

"Hey ladies, you realize that you're not required to look at every mirror you come across, right?"

"Any governments / terrorist groups looking to rule by fear should get some tips from spiders."

"those fake living rooms at IKEA should have a couple in them trying to assemble IKEA furniture and fighting"