68638

Joke of the Day

"Women my age expect a man to have his shit together by now. Time to start dating younger women."

"Like most men, I have two personalities... the guy before the orgasm and the one after."

"Dad did you manage to fix my toy? No it's not broken the battery's flat. Well what shape should it be?"

"What is a physicist's favorite cookie? Sig-fig Newtons"

"My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally."

"Two soldiers are in a tank. ""BLUBLUBLUBBLUBLUB"", said one to the other. A variation of the 'two fish are in a tank' joke."

"This spa was amazing! Umm Miss, you just walked through our car wash."

"My friend works in a recycling facility... And they showed me around to the can recycling area, and I wasn't to happy about it. It was soda pressing."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but I don't know how they'd get in there."

"So, there's a plane... So there's a plane. The plane crashes, and every single person dies. However, a man goes home and tells his wife about it. How is this possible? He wasn't single."