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Joke of the Day

"I thought my friend was being serious when he was talking about rimjobs Turns out it was all tongue in cheek."

"Has anyone said 'Julia Roberts makes me feel like I don't have enough teeth'? Because I'd like to say that."

"My wife said she's had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up. So I just packed my bags and right."

"Two muffins were in an oven... One says to the other, ""is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"" The other screams, ""AHHHH! Talking muffin!"""

"A girl from the office is trying to get me fired for sexual harassment because I've been giving her ""inappropriate massages during work"" I said, Good luck sweetheart. I don't even work here."

"Was told to fuck bitches and get money. All I got was charged with bestiality"

"I don't need WebMD to tell me what's wrong with me, I have my mother."

"Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms? Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen."

"Why are there no Chuck Norris knock-knock jokes? Because Chuck only has to hit the door ONCE."

"What does an egg say when its ""turnt up""? Omlet!"