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Joke of the Day

"Kylo Ren: What was Vader like? Leia: He blew up my planet & killed everyone I loved. Kylo: Leia: Kylo: What was his stance on sideburns?"

"After my fourth failed relationship, my friend tells me 'keep your head up, these girls come and go, but you'll find someone for you', but deep down i know... Girls don't just come and go... I do."

"Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two? In case he got a hole in one."

"What's a mouse's favourite record ? Please cheese me !"

"How can you open a banana? With a monkey!"

"need a Justin Bieber joke about the fist fight he got into last night"

"What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe."

"People always ask me, where do I come up with my status', do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs."

"If humans were chickens, the French Revolution would've been a lot funnier... because after cutting someone's head off, their headless body would run around a few times."

"Why is the door knob? Because the key. (ok, i will show myself out)"