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Joke of the Day

"After my fourth failed relationship, my friend tells me 'keep your head up, these girls come and go, but you'll find someone for you', but deep down i know... Girls don't just come and go... I do."

Next Joke
 
"Life was simpler when photo albums were books containing pleasant family snaps and not digital online librarys of me puking in a shoe."
"What's the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it dies."
"Irritating friend: I passed your house yesterday. Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that."
"What's the funniest smelling thing on the earth? An anchovies cunt."
"They just opened a sperm bank for gay couples. You can get it by the buttload."
"Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead."
"Me: What's the first step of fire safety? 4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously."
"I've ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child."
"Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!"