99170

Joke of the Day

"Where were you i have been waiting for half an hour. Said No Girl Ever."

"Do buses and trains run on time? Usually yes. No they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks."

"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You don't look like you could take a joke."

"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: My greatest weakness? I'm a bad listener."

"A dark, dark joke What's the difference between molestation and rape? You remember rape"

"I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas... FML, now I'm stuck taking care of a puppy. Edit: For those worried about the kid, it's ok. He was an adopted ginger, so no big deal."

"Mo' money mo' problems might be true, but I'd still like to find out for myself."

"All liquor stores are open 24 hours. When you have a brick."

"A guy goes the video store... - Excuse me, could I rent Batman Forever? - Sorry but you'll have to bring it back tomorrow. :("

"Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running."